There's a trash can in the faculty mail room that's rarely emptied. I didn't give it much thought until I returned from sabbatical. I figured that one of the slacker graduate assistants had been assigned to empty it, but as can be expected, he/she/they/one of them never did.
No big deal. The coffee pot in the faculty lounge goes unwashed until someone leaves it on overnight and it becomes charred. That's just one reason why I have my own Mr. Coffee in my office.
It's common to find the copy machine on the fritz because the previous user was too lazy to open the machine up and pry the jammed paper out. I bought my own black and white laser printer for this very reason.
It's so tiresome to work with such inconsiderate people, especially when they are the very ones who proclaim that their roles as teachers is to elevate students' awareness of white privilege, inaccurate gender identity, climate change, and a host of other problems.
Maybe there should be a Jammed Copy Machine in the Faculty Office Awareness Day. That's a much more pressing problem than some of the other things that those damned awareness days are intended to call attention to.
I was about to fire off a memo to Dr. Blipps, the department head, to suggest an Empty the Damned Trash Can Day when a first year graduate assistant knocked on my door. She held a gaily wrapped package in her hand.
"I think this is yours," she said.
--- What is it?
"It has your name on it." She held it out to me with both hands. "I don't know what it is, but it sure is heavy".
---Where did you get it?
"It was in the trash can in the faculty mail room."
---Really?
"Yes, and the trash can is filled with faculty memos and personal memos to you from Dr. Blipps. Want me to bring them to you?"
---No. No, no, no, I said.
I didn't want anyone to think that I read memos from anyone.
---And put that gift thingy back in the circular file with it.
I could tell by the weight of it that it was another fruitcake. I don't need another door stop.
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